Tackling Kleptomania in Kids
By Dr. Manjiri Deshpande, Child Psychiatrist -The Pediatric Network
Your little one has been lately bringing stationary from the class that does not even belong to him. Your child has started taking extreme pleasure and satisfaction in randomly hoarding up things that he does not even require, while he has been blatantly lying to you on being questioned. If the act of stealing endures for a lengthier phase of time, then, the situation needs to be addressed medically, your child might have fallen prey to a psychological condition known as Kleptomania. The moment parents notice the child has been constantly getting things not purchased by them, you need to raise an alarm. You must refrain from keeping quiet, your silence may make the situation more complicated, thus further encouraging the child to keep repeating the act.
How can parents know if the child has developed kleptomania –
Kleptomania in young children can be difficult to handle for the parents. Getting to know a couple of kleptomania symptoms will facilitate in dealing better with the disorder.
- They get nervous and excited at the same time, afore and while stealing.
- They feel elated after they’ve stolen the object of their affection.
- A kleptomaniac does not require a partner while he steals, hence will never encourage companions.
In fact research has also shown that individuals suffering from kleptomania are otherwise perfectly sane and do not know that they are actually suffering from a medical disorder.
Another symptoms of kleptomania is that very often the goods that are stolen are not used and are simply kept away.
Kleptomania symptoms in adults also include feeling a strong urge of stealing an object they don’t need, future urges to continue to steal, immense pleasure after successfully stealing an object as well as feeling guilty or ashamed after stealing an item. Treatments for kleptomania in adults does not aim at actually treating this medical condition but is more targeted at suppressing the urge to steal.
Undoubtedly raising up children comes with its own set of challenges. Right from the time the child is born, parents are focussed on fulfilling the basic requirements needed for the child’s optimal growth. Behavioral traits in kids often vary and even in homes where all the requirements are met, dealing with kleptomaniac children can be absolutely maddening for parents.
Children first get into a habit of taking things which do not belong to them at age of 4 to 5 yrs. If you identify that your child has been doing so, do not punish him. As a humble advice, parents need to understand, that kleptomania is a mental illness and not an illegitimate act, hence penalizing them for their wrong-doings would do them no good. Parents should rather explain to the child that this is wrong. Ask him to imagine how he would feel if his things were stolen. Make him hand over the item back to the owner. If the item is broken or lost, make him buy a new one from his saved money. Once he returns the item, praise him for it. Rectify the mistake when you first see it before it becomes a habit. When children engage in any unwanted behavior, parents must find out the reason behind it. Only punishing the child will not help and it may also make the child more aggressive and defiant. Rather, finding out why he did wrong and then discussing things with him will ensure he does not repeat the same mistake. Kids respond very well to positive reinforcement i.e. encourage, praise and reward the child for doing good. So ensure you find something to reinforce positively in your child
When a child has been caught stealing, a parent’s reaction should depend on whether it’s the first time or there’s a pattern of stealing. While dealing with young children who have fallen prey to the disorder, parents should make all efforts to make them realize that flicking others belongings without seeking their permission is a wrong habit and needs to be averted. They should understand it is wrong to steal something without asking or paying for it. If a toddler takes away a candy from the store, parents should make the child return back the item. If the child has already consumed the candy, parents can take the child back to the store to say sorry and should pay for it. For instance in case the child has brought home his friend’s toy without his permission, as responsible parents we need to confront the child and make him understand that his actions are incorrect, tell him it is bad manners to take others belongings without seeking their consent. Also persuade your child to call the friend to ask for forgiveness, explain what happened, and promise to return it. If your child has no regret and doesn’t see why it’s incorrect to steal, you immediately need to seek help from a mental health professional.
How do I inculcate good habits in my child?
Inculcating good habits is not a day’s work, it is an ongoing process. Children learn by observing their parents and from their parent’s reactions to their behavior. Almost each child may lie or take things which are not his/her at least once. Whether it becomes a habit is determined by how parents handle it. Model good behavior at home. The way you and your spouse interact at home has a lot of bearing on the child. Parents are the best role models for the child. Praise their good behavior but never ignore their bad behavior. If you feel behavioral problems are increasing, take help from a professional.
To sum it up, with some expert guidance and properly educating the child with regards to the various detrimental outcomes of stealing, every parent can effectively tackle the disorder.
